One of the Fallout franchise’s most unusual items is the Perfectly Preserved Pie, a dessert found within sturdy claw vending machines that somehow survived the post-apocalypse. Other than its appearance, there’s nothing special about the pie slice at first glance. The sweet treat doesn’t heal you for much, and despite its name, consuming it will still poison you with a small amount of radiation. A vault dedicated to an item like this probably doesn’t sound impressive… unless you know just how difficult it is to get a slice in the first place.
The containers that preserve the Perfectly Preserved Pie are more faulty than a McDonald’s ice cream machine. Having a higher luck stat helps, but even a character who maxes the attribute will only have a 2% chance of successfully dispensing a slice. Those odds increase with each retry. By the 29th attempt, the chance rises to 50%. A determined player can eventually score the pastry, but that still potentially means endless drudgery for a single portion. Some Fallout players never manage to get it from a dispenser even after years of playing the games.
Head_Location9095, however, doesn’t just have one Perfectly Preserved Pie. This Fallout 76 player appears to own hundreds of slices — enough to fill an entire vault with them. They’re all proudly presented in back-to-back display cases that make the vault look like a pie museum. The Fallout 76 player claims that it took them four months to put everything together:
In a nod to Portal, all the signs leading up to the vault advertise a cake. I doubt any Fallout 76 player who encounters this will be disappointed by what they find, however.
“Motherf…. in 8 years I’ve gotten 1 piece,” one Reddit commenter wrote.
“Some of you people never cease to amaze me,” another said. “Holy shit.”
There is one easy way to obtain a pie slice, as Fallout 76 spawns it on the roof of the West Tek Research Center. Players have also developed farming routes for the item, but these tactics only result in a pie slice or two. Head_Location9095, however, says they did not take the easy way out. Their character has a Luck stat of 37, and they estimate that around 95% of the pies hail from the busted claw machines.
Some impressed Fallout 76 fans have proposed potential backstories for how such a vault could fit into the lore. And at least a few of them are encouraging Head_Location9095 to push it in a deadlier direction.
“And then the room fills with deadly neurotoxins,” one commenter joked.
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